I’ve been watching a lot of television lately. See, if you haven’t read already, I am unemployed and I have a lot of free time. The other end of it is I live in a new city, so I don’t know a ton of people yet and the people I have met, I’m still getting to know them and become a part of their lives. So, a lot of the time, I sit around, plugged into Netflix or Hulu watching hour upon hour of TV series whilst painting or writing dumb shit for this blog.
I’m also a sucker for efficiency. See, the thing about American Television, especially it’s drama shows is that it’s all about the standard formula. Like, I watched the entire, available canon of Bones, the show with Emily Deschnel who plays a social moron but because she’s a genius she thinks her shit doesn’t stink. I want punch that character in the face, many, many times. That Ms. Deschnel makes her living this way actually makes me sad. But anyway, after watching like a hundred and fifty episodes of this, I realized, the first person Bones and the FBI agent doofus question, not speak to but actually question is always the killer. ALWAYS. Except in the few, more exciting, serial killer episodes, that, if you are going on a massive marathon, barely breaks up the monotony of the repetition filled in with the barely interesting, mostly pathetic actions of spoiled brainiacs.
I am also obsessed with House M.D. Fortunately, that show is not available en masse on Netflix, hulu or any other provider that is easily accessible. Yea, I could probably torrent them fuckers, but I am actually trying to work on some shit. But anyway, House almost never “solves” the issue before the 48 minute mark (if yr watching with commercials, I don’t know what the time span is on Hulu, cuz I don’t pay attention to the clock when watching on my puter like I did on the TV back when I was employed and had cable. It happens almost every time, except for maybe once that I can recall. Sure, there were a few character development episodes in the later seasons about how House was a drug addict.
So sometimes, I wish this: I wish I could magically walk into my computer or TV screen (I got netflix on my Xbox 360 bitch, yea I am an arrested development adult male, suck my man cunt Kay S Hymovitz) and just shake the charachters. Like on Bones, when they interview the guilty person in the first 15 minutes, I just want shake that pretty FBI guy (FYI, FBI guys mostly do look like this guy, with LOTS of hair gel) and be like “this motherfucker is the dude that killed the motherfucker”. Or like on House M.D., the first like five diagnosis they do I want to be like, “You’re WRONG you over educated, emotionally crippled ass hats!” It would save me a lot of time and I would probably watch less TV, because lets face it, the drama of TV is equal to, but just as banal and irrelevant as the drama in any middle class Americans life. All these shows reinforce is that scarily smart people are social morons that alienate people and should be punched in the face. Except House, cuz he’s an asshole to everyone and Hugh Laurie is pretty awesome. He was on a show with Steven Fry. I should watch that show, I bet my life would be more fulfilled.
So, essays, blog posts, intelligent writing is supposed to (or are supposed to) have a point. This one doesn’t really. I just wish I wasn’t a TV addict right now. I wish I had a little more structure. I wish I was capable of drawing a Whale Robot as inspired by my That ’70’s Show marathon I have been watching/listening to. Unfortunately, unlike this guy, I’m not that good at drawing and I am not that disciplined. Also, I’ve been enjoying the Virgin Island’s best import. Future and/or potential employers savvy enough to find this page (i.e. google search) or translate that simplistic phrase, please ignore. Also, I wish TV Land and Hollywood didn’t suck so much. And finally, I’ve been really discomforted by how many B and C level actors/actresses are members of The Church of Scientology. That shit is weird. Robots are awesome. Buy my stuff and other stuff.