Jesus Hates Punk Rock and Hard Core Music.

Rohnert Park LP
Bridge 9

This is a picture of me with my vinyl copy of Ceremony’s new album Rohnert Park. This is here to prove that I have in fact bought a copy of this album. See, last night I was on a message board that was talking about this album. Half the kids said it was good and half the kids, who used to be fans hated it. So I had to check this out. Normally, these days I go to a myspace page or someplace that is streaming the album, but no such dice on this one folks. I did find it uploaded on some mediafire file sharing place. Now, I am known to do this from time to time. Generally if I hate the music (which I mostly do) I don’t listen to the record anymore. But if I love it, I usually buy the album. This time, I loved it so much I hauled my ass all the way from the burbs to DC and bought a copy tonight. It came with a download card. So now I am stoked cuz I get the official version while my mom has my record player (no kidding).

So, here is the deal, Rohnert Part is one of the most neurotic fucking punk albums I have heard in a long time. As a general rule, punk is supposed to be kind of dangerous and on the verge of melting down. But these days, so much punk music is safe and predictable, that frankly I forget it’s supposed to ruin my life. Rohnert Park makes me want to stab people in the face. This is twisted, gnarly, fucked out music made by guys who have lost their minds. All the angry kids, bummed out that this band doesn’t sound the same, I have a feeling Ceremony doesn’t really give a fuck what you think. Rohnert Part was made to piss people off. Not just normal people, but people who listen to punk music.

I have no idea what this band used to sound like. Frankly, I don’t really give a fuck what they were supposed to sound like. This shit is so brain-damaged that it actually makes me feel like maybe I can cope with the stress, anxiety, depression and bullshit job that are a part of my everyday life. Because that is what this album is about, madness, annihilation, self-destruction, self loathing and hating the entire world. This band is standing on the edge of the Eiffel Tower with an Atom Bomb and there just waiting for the right moment to drop it so they can go home and be done with this place. Album of the year. I am calling it right here.

No One Deserves to Be Here More Than Me
Deathwish Inc.

Sometimes it takes another album to put an unrelated album in context. That happened to me today. I’ve been sitting on No One Deserves To Be Here More Than Me (I am not sure if this is a direct play on Miranda July’s No One Deserves to Be Here More Than You but I suspect it is) for a good few months. I think I actually got this in December of 2009. But this record didn’t have a release date or any pre-press. Basically, a week before Deathwish had them, they took pre-orders for VINYL ONLY. I think the record just became available on iTunes, on CD and in stores just a month ago. So were gonna say this is a new record. But anyway, as I was listening to Ceremony, you know, the record you just read about, I started thinking about No One Deserves to Be Here More Than Me. This album, is the hardcore version of Rohnert Park (yes uninitiated public, there is a difference between punk and hardcore, though they are in the same vein). And now I realize my confusion to this album was because Blacklisted was trying to piss me the fuck off. Guess what, it didn’t work.

This shit is barely a hardcore album. Frankly I don’t know what to call it. Singer, George Hirsch, is such a self loathing sad bastard, who loves to tear himself apart in public, at least it feels that way. I don’t know, this shit seems so sincere. And the album owes as much to Nirvana and The Melvins as it does to New York and Boston Hardcore. It’s mostly and album covered is so much sludge and self hatred that it’s like the band ran over itself right after they emptied the oil tank onto themselves from their tour van.

But Blacklisted definitely went off the deep end on this one. I mean, it’s not a stretch on the surface. Some of the songs are pretty straight forward, but they do have some trumpet in some of the songs, used quite well in album opener “Our Apartment Is Always Empty”. They also have an acoustic song, “The P.I.G (The Problem is G)” which is not a bad song at all, but Hirsch could utilize some singing lessons. I mean, dude has a great voice for yelling into the microphone, but he’s no Robert Goulet. They do a lot of other things though, that hardcore bands just don’t do. I mean, it’s loud, it’s heavy, they have slow parts and songs which is not uncommon these days, but this record would not have been out of place had it come out in the 90’s along side Mudhoney and Dinosaur Jr. At first this record kind of pissed me off, but I think it was supposed to. And now I kind of like it. A lot.

In the end, it’s not quite as successful as Rohnert Park and it’s a bit uncouth for me to compare one band to another. But I feel like these albums are siblings. Both are from well established bands who have had a lot of hype fall their way who ultimately turned their backs on the safe road and made the albums they wanted to make, nevermind what the pack of 15-19 year old white suburban boys say on the internet. At my age, this music isn’t really targeted at me. Most people grow out of this phase of their lives, or they hide it. But you know, these albums are made by people probably closer to my age then most of their fans. And it’s exactly the kind of albums I want to hear.


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