I have been sick this last week. Like, really, really sick. In fact, this blog post was just interrupted by me coughing up a lung. Which is a good thing. Prior to last nights, lung hacking, which was a turning point, I contemplated going to the hospital three times, I’ve been hallucinating, I had an allergic reaction to antibiotics, I had a fever, I missed a bunch of work. In short, I’ve been an absolute mess. So I’ve barely listened to or even thought about any music. When I get sick, I can’t listen to music. It’s too difficult to engage in such complex language. My focus is not there when i am ill. I’m having a hard enough time doing this, but I am awake because my body told me to be and I think a cup of team might be in order. I’m probably wrong about that, but fuck dude, I am sick and I actually slept for more than 59 consecutive minutes last night for the first time in a week. For the first time in a while I don’t feel like death is imminent. This is a sinus infection by the way. What the FUCK?
So it hasn’t been all bad. I could do without the pain in my throat, that’s been the only really bad part about this. That is where a majority of the infection lies, so it’s been wholly unpleasant in that region. The tea I think is the only thing that has actually done any thing for that region. I haven’t minded the fevers too much. I mean, they force me to do nothing. Though, they keep me awake. But the temperature change wasn’t a big deal. And who doesn’t love a good bit of hallucinating, especially when it’s totally legal. Also, I watched Slap Shot last night, featuring the late, great Paul Newman. How I had never seen this cinematic masterpiece prior to yesterday is beyond me. I did keep waking up thinking I was different people last night until part of this disease unleashed it’s grip from my throat. Some of those people were characters implied in that film. You have not lived until you have woken up in a cold sweat believing yr a minor league hokey player who has to take the ice with a sinus infection. I even got to zone out from the codeine cough syrup my doctor prescribed. That shit would have been fun if my throat didn’t feel like it was on fire.
And like I said before, I think I am making a turn for the better. Last night I actually had some good, REM sleep with dreams, which is the first I’ve had in a while. I like dreaming. Though I believe my dream world is more intense and would probably be a lot more difficult to actually have to navigate 24-7-365, my dreams are pretty kick ass. The world is a lot more expressive. There are a lot more monuments and statues and arts around. It feels alive, akin to the way I believe people find New York or Los Angeles (though I never have). There is a constant energy and life force. Last nights dream was beautiful, but lonely. I was in a world where, simultaneously I was taking kids to a carnival, singing in a 80’s Goth cover band, complete with drum machine, and falling in love with someone that in this world it is just not possible to be in love with. Scientifically, I think the theory of mirroring dimensions is possible. We know so little about space and time, that the idea of connected selves, mirroring each other and existing elsewhere, I don’t know, that brings me comfort. Because this possibility here, this could comfort another me, who wishes circumstances were different that have allowed me the things I have accomplished, loved the people I have and so on. I don’t know, this is slightly crazy talk, but it does help put things in perspective.
So this weekend is probably shot. There are a bunch of great shows this afternoon, none of which I will make. Body Cop is playing, so is Cephalopods at two different venues. Spoonboy is also playing tonight and I am going to be missing that. Weak. Tomorrow, maybe I feel better and I can catch Fing Fang Foom and Mercury Program at the Black Cat. Such a shitty weekend to be sick, but if this thing is probably turning around on me and I am going to avoid the hospital, then fuck it. Feeling sick sucks ass. So there you have it. Enjoy the weekend.