Issue 4?

Basically, I’ve been forcing myself not to just have a total emotional breakdown and cry all day. Which for me is really weird. I hate crying. I think crying is totally fucked up and it bothers the shit out of me when other people do it and I feel totally like an asshole when I do it (the rare times that happens).

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Hey Fuckers, this is the internet, it’s totally bullshit. Also, eight people read this blog apparently. It’s a bit strange. But I have some useless news.

#1 – read this blog here. It’s written by my friend Rebecca Armendariz. I accidentally cyber stalked her tonight. See, I had a really bad morning. I was just overwhelmed and made the mistake of listening to Statehood, which features Reba’s late boyfriend Clark Sabine (it’s gonna be really embarrassing when she tracks back and finds this blog and I feel stupid as shit writing this while listening to the new Dead Weather album). I had this fucked up emotional moment, sent her this fucked up text message and sat on the side of the road and cried for about ten minutes on my way to work. Truth be told, I feel like a total fucking mess right now for a variety of reasons. Basically, I’ve been forcing myself not to just have a total emotional breakdown and cry all day. Which for me is really weird. I hate crying. I think crying is totally fucked up and it bothers the shit out of me when other people do it and I feel totally like an asshole when I do it (the rare times that happens). But honestly that or getting tattooed are the only things that make sense right now. Also I am fucking sick and shit is totally fucked up and I hate it. So anyway, yea, I accidentally found Rebecca’s blog looking up stuff about Clark because I’ve been thinking about him all fucking day and I pretty much just want to cut everyone in the face.

#2 – Since basically I have eight awesome friends that read this, thanks. I appreciate it. Please tell yr other friends about this blog. It’s gonna probably get a lot better soon. I think once I relocate, Franconia Station, my other blog, is gonna be morphed into this one. So you’ll get pod-casts, music review, pictures from shows, and the occasional personal spiel the internet is so ripe to provide despite it being a completely inappropriate forum for this bullshit. People want content, I intend to give it to them.

#3 – Issue 4, does it actually exist? The answer to that question is yes. I have written about 10 pages of text for issue #4. It’s a fairly personal zine where I talk about how much of a pansy I am dealing with malignant skin cancer shit and acting like a shitty, emotional wreck and then talk openly about some fucked up shit and it’s really embarrassing. The thing is, I continue to find moles and shit that need to get looked at. It’s kind of fucking me up a lot and I’ve put this third round off. I’m actually getting pretty concerned at this point. Melanoma is fucking aggressive. I haven’t put it off because I don’t think about it or am scared or just giving up, I’ve just been so busy and preoccupied with the immediate shit other people keep putting in my face. Frankly I just want to tell them to go fuck themselves. I realize it’s been a year, but believe me, I still think about it.

#4 – I am hoping soon the podcasts are gonna contain audio interviews with bands as well as music. We shall see. I haven’t figured out logistics or anything yet. Also, since I am moving that might be short lived. Anyway, next weeks is really boss. check it out.

#5 – My cat keeps sneezing. It’s weird. Also, the photo up there, that’s Kiki from Body Cop. Body Cop is amazing and she’s pretty incredible to watch. Punk rock needs strong, brash ladies like her. I don’t know her or anything, but after seeing Body Cop twice, I’m pretty blown away. Fuck everything else. Body Cop is the shit.

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