1. I’ve never been dissapointed in another human being before. I thought I had, but last night I had a conversation that, if what was previewed for me happens in this persons life occurs, I will be so sorely dissapointed. It’s the kind of thing that makes you not only re-evaluate everything you thought you knew about a person and question everything you admired about them, but it also makes you seriously wonder about your own judge of charechter. I told them a lot, in an email, which irritates me because I hate email, but this person isn’t in the business of getting letters right now. I didn’t tell them the magnitude of how dissapointed I would be, but I did lay it out there. The worst part about all of this is there is nothing I can do from here on out. I doubt seriously I have any influence in this persons life anymore. I understand now how I might have affected the course of their life in the past, but this plea, and it was a harsh, brutal plea to reconsider even thinking about making their decission is the only thing I can do to try and make up for my past mistakes and to live my life without that dissapointment. Because no one should ever have to live with that.
2. Listen to Lungfish. This is supposed to be a blog about music, so here you go, Lungfish are amazing. They are weird and strange and mystical and esoteric. They are hypnotic. They are amazing. I wrote a crappy blog about Lungfish. I didn’t do them justice. But maybe some kid will get into it.
3. I checked out The Portable Atheist from the library last night. The book is edited by Christopher Hitchens. I don’t like it. Don’t get my wrong, there is some good writing in there and there are great arguments being made. But as I have stated already in this blog (not the appropriate blog I created for such things) the Athiest movement is plauged by hatred, resentment, hostility (which I get on one level, I do) and self congratulation. It has been a while since I read something so unabashedly biased. It will be, I think, a great challenge to distance myself from this poor execution of argument. That’s what pisses me off the most. It’s like that radio station that Al Franken started where he hired a bunch of people that utilized the same rhetorichal methodology that the so-called “right wing” pundits used to spread their methods. It just sounded as equally stupid. You can not win over the minds of people, you can’t even be taken seriously when the language you use in non-objective. These people are supposed to be scientists, a large majority of them anyway. How do they not understand that. Take Dawkins for example, his book The God Delusion is so filled with one sided language, that even I can’t support those ideas. And I generally agree with Dawkins. I think his study of biology leands great credence to the arguments of Atheism. But you can’t counter arguments about beleif with arrogance. Beleif is afterall supposed to be so deeply rooted that it is unshakeable. You have to deconstruct them from the core. Emotional arguments are worthless, especially when talking about things that are emotional.
4. I have written 20 pages in what I hope will be my first book. This is the fourth book I have ever started, the third to go past 10 pages. This is another step in the path of doing right by me. I am in total, 100%, absolute selfish mode. It’s all about me. That feels damn good.